Snowflake Challenge Day 8

[vassalady]

In your own space, create a love meme for yourself. Let people tell you how amazing and awesome and loveable you really are. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so. Surf the comments and find people to give love to.

Ok, so here it is: last time I'm writing anything here. I've tried for the last hour to find something to say in this post, and every time I delete it because I hate how it sounds and I hate how it makes me sound, but fuck it, I need to get this out.

I had a really shitty evening last night, ok? I felt sad and friendless and talentless and worthless (even if INTELLECTUALLY, I know none of that is true), and I'm still feeling it, and there was a family ER yesterday, which just exacerbated everything, and now I have to go to work where people are going to yell at me like it's my fault things aren't going right in their lives. Fun Day.

I don't feel like I can ever ask people to listen to my issues, because I don't want to burden them when they have their own shit going on. And I don't even feel comfortable asking for hugs, even though I love giving them, but when I need one, I will never ask, and I'm not entirely sure why.

Well. Now I'm asking you to tell me something nice. I want to do this for you, too, but I need some time away first, because this has been too hard to post in the first place, and I need some time.

Just. If you do leave something here for me... Thank you, in advance. Really. <3

Comments

[jelazakazone]

::::HUGS:::: You can always ask me for hugs!

Dude, you are just fucking awesome. I admire your passion for writing so much. You are open about your creativity and I find inspiration from you. I know life is not where you want it to be, but be compassionate with yourself. It's a long race, as my mom likes to say. You'll get there. Just keep showing up, as you do! <3 <3 <3

[vassalady]

*HUGS*

Thank you so much. <3 <3 <3 <3 I'm glad to be your friend

[kass]

Drive-by comment to say: you are awesome! Yay you for doing this challenge!

(Here via fandom_snowflake.)

[vassalady]

Thank you so much <3 <3

[ashesandghostff]

<3 <3 <3

Asking for love and support can be so difficult, can't it? Well, I think you're incredibly strong and brave, even just for posting this, and you're most definitely very talented (I just went and read some of your fic, in fact, so I can confirm that!). If you ever need to talk, I'm always willing to listen. You're not a burden. Really.

(((((HUGS)))))

[vassalady]

*HUGS*

Oh, that wasn't necessary to look at my fic, but I'm really touched!!

Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot to me. <3 <3

[elizabeth_rice]

We don't know each other but I just wanted to say that you are awesome! ♥

(via FSC)

[vassalady]

Oh, thank you so much! <3

[argentumlupine]

*hugs you* I'm so sorry you had a terrible evening yesterday. :( Next time you need or want a hug, tweet a pic of the bat signal at me and I'll know what you mean, okay? In my experience, sometimes it's easier to ask obliquely. ♥

You're awesome. Posting your fanworks (especially when you're feeling insecure about them) takes courage, as does writing an honest post like this one. *high five for your courage* I love following you on Twitter because your passion for creating is always clear and even if I don't quite understand what you're talking about when it's specific to a fandom I'm not in, I love seeing how excited you are. *high five for your enthusiasm*

Pretty much, I think you're a great person. ♥

[vassalady]

You have no idea how much that bat signal idea sounds like a beautiful sigh of relief and safety net.

Thank you. That really means a lot to me, more than you might know. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[analise010]

DARLING, COME HERE. ARE YOU LISTENING. NO. REALLY. ARE YOU?

You're great. It may not always feel that way, you are. I know that sometimes you feel insecure because you compared yourself to the people you met in school, but THEY DON'T DETERMINE YOUR WORTH. Your writing is SPECTACULAR. I mean, seriously, how many people have the courage to say, "I want to write about superheroes" or "I want to make sex fun" or - and my fav - "I WANT TO WRITE A CROSSDRESSING THREESOME"????

Every time you feel like your work is subpar, just know that it doesn't need to be perfect now. Write what you can and your skills will grow. And when all else fails?

[vassalady]

Oh, honey... *pulls you in close and holds you tight* I love you so much. <3 <3 <3 <3 Also, I'm stuck between both laughing and crying here. <3 <3

[juno_magic]

Hi,

I don't know you (yet?) so I can't really describe in detail how wonderful you are (though you totally are, I'm sure of it!).

Life is hard. But it's what we have, for better or worse. And you're terribly brave to keep going with family emergencies and all. And I don't even need to know you to know a few things about you just based on this post and your journal. And I think you're a special, awesome, creative person. And I hope things get better for you. So.

Anyway, I figured that I'd use this love meme to spread positive vibes by sharing encouraging quotes because I believe that all of us have the potential to be amazing and awesome beyond our wildest dreams and worst fears. This is the quote I picked for you:

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
― Audrey Hepburn

♥ Live out loud!

[vassalady]

Thank you. <3 <3

[sharpiefan]

I'm here from the Snowflake Challenge and I would like to say that I am so sorry you had such a bad day the other day. I hope things improve for you and yours soon.

This particular challenge has been hard for a lot of us, because there's something inside that tells us we're not allowed to ask others to say they like us, or appreciate us. We can ask for comments to things we do/produce like fanfic, podfic, art, whatever. But somehow it's wrong to ask people to say nice things about US.

Well. You're a lovely person, you're concerned for others, you're involved in your fandom. You're awesome.

You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world's problems at once but don't ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own. - Michelle Obama

[vassalady]

Thank you. <3 Your words really mean a lot to me.

[sjh2009]

Cool icon!

We haven't run into each other in the fandom world so this is the first time we've met but I think you sound a pretty amazing person trying to deal with everything yourself. I also think you're awesome for taking part in the challange, it's certainly not the easiest one to do.

Sending you much love and many warm hugs :)

[wenchpixie]

via snowflake

It sounds like you were having a really horrid time of it - I hope that's easing and you're at least seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now?

We don't have fandoms in common but I had a little scan through your journal and read what you wrote here and you seem to be a very interesting person with a lot of strength to you - even if you have a hard time reaching through your strength sometimes (I think a lot of us do ♥)

[croissantkatie]

I am always here for listening, hugs, cheerleading, etc! <3

You're probably aware of this, given how much I go on about it, but I had such a wonderful time working with you for podtogether. Just. Writing and finding words is not something I find particularly easy, but when we were working on that, it just flowe really well. God, even the editing was nice. And just. One of the best fannish experiences I've ever had. <3

[akamine_chan]

The best part of the Snowflake Challenge is that it never really ends!

We run around in the same circles, so I've seen you around, and that alone tells me you're an awesome person.

We all go through phases of self-doubt and feeling bad, but that doesn't mean that your pain or sadness is any less. Doesn't mean that no one wants to listen to you.

Asking for help of any kind, even something as simple as a hug, is difficult for me, as well. So I'm very proud of you for making this post, especially when you needed friendly reassurance and love. *hugs you so tight*